Filmmakers


 

"Roger believes that people should follow their hearts. This is one of the hardest things in the world to do and goes against the grain of most things we have been conditioned to do. Roger helped me see that I was a heart person when I doubted it, and sooner or later I found it again. He can speak directly and truly and isn't willing to beat around the bush, but comes straight to the point. He's a most unusual person and I look forward to sharing some Journeys with him. I support him without question in what he does."

Mark Elliot

Filmmaker 1987

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Joyce Rudin

New Jersey

March 9, 2001

Dear Roger,

Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my father's death and as the smoke from the Jewish memory candle (Yarzheit) burned out, I am reminded of my remiss in writing you sooner. Please accept my apology for the delay in thanking you for your tremendous help to us during my father's last few weeks.

It must have been fate that I tried to cover your work years before and that you were there for my family when we needed you.

My father, Murray Miller, 69, had in his prime, been a very intelligent, funny, if somewhat irascible soul. Much of what he did and chose during his own life was a mystery to me, as was his decline with a most bizarre illness called Lewy's Body Disease, mimicking aspects of both Parkinson's and Alzheimer's Disease. Such was the mystery that we really could not diagnosis this to our own satisfaction until weeks before he died. (The medical doctors were useless.)

The fall from the shower and the ensuing coma were traumatic for all the obvious reasons but compounded by the fact that in his repose he looked like my old dad. We groomed him without fussing too much and it seemed that if he could just wake up he would be the man he was 10 years ago, prior to this insidious onset.

We struggled with choices over feeding tubes and bed positions and care and ultimately came to uneasy terms with moving him to a hospice center. Though he had a living will stating he wished no heroic measures, it was very hard to determine if this was indeed the situation anticipated. Had his living will kicked in?

We were left to make all the decisions for him. Is this what he wanted? Could we live with the decisions that had to be made, decisions that effectively would end his life? (I now know that it is impossible ever feel right inside again.)

In this turmoil, I remembered you. Though I felt uncomfortable calling you because I had foolishly opted not to do the story, you were extremely gracious and available to me. Please thank your wife also for greeting my late night calls with warmth and understanding.

You fundamentally redirected our communication , with my father. As a result of speaking with you, we set up a schedule and assigned family members shifts to be with him. We allowed for quiet time and I kept a journal of my communication with him. I asked questions. I listened for a response. I told him everything I needed to say and even, as frightening as it was for me, said it was okay for him to let go. There still were times when my sister, Lois, and mother and I sang all his favorite songs to him, but there was a lot more quiet space and simple presence.

I want to thank you by giving you this handmade Ethiopian basket that comes from my personal collection. 'Ten years ago I spent a year in Ethiopia furtively working with an American Jewish organization to help reunite the remaining Ethiopian Jewish community with their families in Israel. The year's work culminated in a 24 hour airlift of 15 thousand men, women and children, known as Operation Solomon. I was one of a handful of Americans fortunate to participate in this miracle.

During, my year there, I set up a basket-making program as a means of employing thousands of women and girls who otherwise lived on meager handouts. The baskets later were sold in the US to pay for our relief efforts. This basket was made during that time and, as a piece of that remarkable journey, is the most meaningful gift I can share with you to express my gratitude,

I am sending this to return-receipt, just so I know that that the package arrived. There is no need to thank me.

Thank you again for sharing your gift with us.

PS. We live only 23 minutes by bus outside NYC Should you ever need a place to stay while out here, please don't hesitate to call.

 

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